Abi's Day April 23

April 23, 2013

Morning Circle Time
7:48- Discover a little boy halfway through a sheet of paper.  That he has eaten.

Morning Recess
9:02- I am walking back into my classroom with my arms full as the kids are rushing past to go to Snack.  One little girl runs up to me to give me a hug, but instead honks my boobs.

English Class
Reviewing our "-en" word family
9:45- Me: "What is M-E-N?"
Class: "MEN!"
Little girl: "TEACHUH LOOK! Like those two big black men!" Pointing to the two very slight-of-build Cambodian men helping out in the classroom.

9:48- Little boy eludes his aides with his impressive speed and agility and runs out of the classroom to go brush his teeth (this is not the time for teeth brushing, as we are in the middle of English Class).  The "two big black men" realize he is gone and go running out after him.

9:55- Little boy returns to the classroom, sans aides, soaking wet and wearing only his underwear.  He has brushed his teeth.

9:59- One aide has returned, and little boy is back in his shorts.  Where his shirt, or the other aide is, is anyone's guess.

Girls Swimming Class
10:21- We are about to head out the door to go swimming when I discover one little girl in line entirely naked, but wearing a pair of goggles.  She was so excited she forgot to put on her swimsuit.

11:03- The little girls are now changing back into their school uniforms. One little girl has both legs stuffed into one leg hole of her underwear.
Little girl: "MS. ABI!! I don't need help, but my underpops (underwear) do!"    

Science Class
Insects
11:22- Me: "What do we call the pincers at an insects mouth?"
Little boy: "Miracles!"
Me: "Haha close! Mandibles!"

Grade 1
1:40- I am borrowing some supplies in the Grade 1 classroom when one of the girls walks up to me and tenderly kisses my belly button.

Working on the Yearbook Page
2:06- Little boy watching me work: "Oh my God! Ms. Abi! It is SO STRONG! OH MY GOD!!"
Little girl upon seeing the page: "Oh BABY! SO FANTASTIC!"

Abi's Day April 22

April 22, 2013

Learning About Insects
7:45- We discover that after a month of waiting for our butterfly to hatch out of its chrysalis, our butterfly finally has! Except that it was during our week long school holiday, and is no where to be found in the tightly sealed butterfly habitat.
The class decides that the ONLY explanation for our missing butterfly is that the butterfly used its "really long, sharp claws to SLASH the nets and it ESCAPED!!"
They are aware that butterflies do not have claws, and the net is intact.

7:46- We discover all the ants in our ant farm have escaped through the teeny-tiny air holes, and there is nothing left of our ant farm. The class decides that the only explanation for the missing ants is that the vicious missing butterfly "KILLED AND ATE THEM ALL WITH IT'S GIANT FANGS!"
They are also aware that butterflies do not have fangs, nor do they eat other insects. This does nothing to dissuade them.  

English Class
Reviewing "-an" Words
8:13- Teacher: "Do you guys remember what "man" means?"
Little boy: "Ms. Abi is the MAN!"
Me: "Hahaha, yep!"

Learning "-ed" Words
8:24- Teacher: "B-E-D, Bed! That's right! How many Beds do you have in your house?"
Little girl: "Um...2 on the bottom floor, 3 upstairs, and then 2 more upstairs again."
Teacher: "So how many is that if you add it all together?"
Little girl: "20!"
Teacher: "No. You have 2, add 3, is...?"
Little girl: "5!"
Teacher: "Now add 2 more..."
Little girl: "25?"
Teacher: "...No. 7. You have 7 beds."

8:27- Teacher: "Okay, what do you think "L-E-D" means?"
Little girl #1: "It's like when there's snow and you fall down all over the ground!"
Teacher: "No, I think you mean "SLED", good try though."
Little girl #2: "Teachuh, I know! But did you know that I have these warts on my legs (hikes dress up to show the class), and then when I was a baby they were EVERYWHERE?!"
Teacher: "..."

Second English Class
9:50- Me: "What is "P-E-N"?
Little boy: "I wear penties in my shorts!"
Me: "That would be "panties".  That is not the same."

9:52- Me: "What do you guys think "D-E-N" is?"
Little boy #1: "It looks like dancing!"
Little boy #2: "You put it...when some people die, you put it in there!"
Little boy #3: "It is a thing and lives on farms!"

Computer Class
11:20- The class is lining up to head to ICT and one little boy is smacking my bottom.  I ask him if he thinks that is an appropriate thing to be doing, he says no. I tell him that if he knows it is not okay to do, then he needs to not do it. He responds, "But Ms. Abi, I HAVE to!  Your bum is so wobbly like jelly!"

Lunch Recess
12:43- We are heading back upstairs to our class after lunch recess, when a little boy races past and smacks me on the rear end.  I catch him, and am in the middle of dealing with the issue when the little girl standing next to me pipes up, "Ms. Abi, EVERYONE just LOVES your bottom!"

Quiet Journal Time
1:02- I look over from my desk to see a little boy nearby furiously sketching away in his journal.  He suddenly straightens up, roars out that he is "SUPERHERO CAPTAIN BUTT CHEEKER!!!" then resumes his sketching, as if nothing had just happened.

Abi's Day April 11

April 11, 2013

I discover that my kids have censored Venus.

Abi's Day April 9

April 9, 2013

Continuing The "-at" Words In English Class
8:20- Teacher: "Who knows what "F-A-T" means?"
Little boy: "Fat is my sister! She is 31 kilos and soooooooooo fat! She is the biggest guy in the world!"
Little girl: "Oh I know! Like YOU, Teachuh! You are so fat! My Dad is fat, but YOU are SOOOO fat!"

Lunch Duty
12:06- I see movement out of the corner of my eye and look over to discover one of my little boys has eluded his aide with his impressive skills of speed and agility, and is running through the lunch tables with his pants at his ankles, laughing his head off, and pelvic thrusting with all his might.  The great chase begins.

12:15- Little boy is back in his clothes and sitting, eating his lunch.

12:18- I hear laughter and see a nude blur to my right.  Said boy is naked and pelvic thrusting through the tables again.  I begin praying the lunch bell will just ring, now please.


Quiet Journal Time
12:52- I notice that one of my little boys has left his seat and is slowly inching his way over to the blocks area.
Me: "*Child's name*, can I help you with something?"
Little boy: "QUIET YOU FOOL!!"
Me: "Pardon me?"

Abi's Day April 8

April 8, 2013

Learning "-at" Words In English Class
8:26- Teacher: "What does "Bat" mean? Any ideas?"
Little boy: "A thing you hit the dog with when it's bad!"

8:28- "How about "Rat"?  Who can tell me what the word "Rat" means?"
Little girl: "I know! It's something you cook and you eat it!" The class nods unanimously in agreement.

Abi's Day April 5

April 5, 2013

Today we learned that duct tape and genitals should never mix.

Abi's Day April 4

April 4, 2013

English Class
9:54- I walk back into the classroom after stepping out for approximately 2 minutes, to discover the boys sitting at the tables with their heads down in time out.  Apparently one of the boys thought it was a good idea for them to pull down their pants, spread their cheeks and show the class their buttholes.