My Boys By Victoria

I am sure that I would not make it through the day without the antics of the two boys whom I have come to love. No, the boys are not my favorites; because teachers never have favorites. Names will be changed for storytelling purposes. Jose a future scientists that has an after school activity everyday of the week and Vincent is a goofy, skinny kid with a toothless grin.

September 3rd

Vincent: "Teachuh?"
Me: "Yes?  You may call me Ms. Victoria. What do you need Vincent?"
Vincent: "Uuumm... OK, Ms. Bacteria. Can I ask you a question?"

September 5th

7:30 Vincent is the line leader for the week and stands just under chest high. One of the things that Vincent loves to do as line leader is ram his head into my stomach repeatedly.  After one such time, he takes a step back to look at my chest.  Lifting his arms he makes a squeezing motion with his hands and says, "Wow!  Ms. Bacteria you are like some kind of MUSCLE MAN!"
I still do not have a response.

12:50  Sitting down for math, all is quiet until I hear an urgent, "Ms. Victoria?! Ms. Victoria!"
"Yes Jose?"
Jose swoops his arm in a dramatic gesture towards a sign on the wall reading Science Center and asks "When are we going to do Science?"
"Next week."
"OH MY GOD! I HAVE TO PREPARE MY SUPPLIES!"

September 6th

I asked Jose if he had any brothers or sisters and he replied, "I do not have any brothers or sisters. My mom cannot grow another tummy because he is old."

September 10th

10:45 "Where should I change teacher?" That was the question I heard as the boys were getting ready for their first swim lesson. I told them that either in the classroom or the bathroom was fine. Jose yells to me from across the room, I turn to see him in just his socks, underwear and shirt. He is swinging his tie above his head in a circular motion and says "But teacher! I do not want anyone to see my wieners!" I told him that if he changes quickly and stops drawing attention to himself no one will see his "wieners". Jose finished changing and announced " Ms. Victoria! I have extra panties to wear after swimming!"

10:47 Vincent flings the classroom door open after changing from his uniform to "swimsuit". He is wearing an extremely small yellow tank top and a matching pair of very small yellow underwear.  Once he is sure all eyes are on him, Vincent begins to hum some sultry tune and rub his hands up and down his body as he gyrates vigorously.

September 12th

10:50 During Quiet Reading Time, it is brought to my attention that Jose is NOT, in fact, quietly reading his book. He is, instead, humming a "dangerous" tune as he whips his handkerchief/ Matador cape back and forth, to tempt the bulls that apparently abide in the reading center. 

12:50 During a discussion about the weather, snow specifically, Vincent raises his hand to say, "I love Canada." I reply, "You love Canada?" Vincent, "Yes. No. Yes, but I love Africa more." Thank you Vincent for your addition to our discussion about weather.

September 17th 

While I am looking over his class work at my desk Vincent decides to take the opportunity look directly down my shirt by sliding his hand quickly across my neck, then yanking down my shirt front.

September 18th

7:50 After a hairstyle change over the weekend Vincent notices and asks, "Why is your hair like that Ms. Bacteria?"  To keep things simple I replied, "I got a haircut." He then asks "Where is the hair here?" and points to his forehead. I then tell all of the children that no matter what they remember of my hairstyle last week, my forehead has NEVER grown hair. Vincent says, "Oh, well when I am a man I will have hair on my lips and cheeks."

12:45 Vincent kindly lets me know that I have something in my teeth.

1:25 Vincent brings some class work up to my desk for approval. As he is waiting quietly for my response, he begins to gently rub my crossed legs. He looks up at me as he continues to touch my leg and whispers, wide-eyed, "WOW! OH MY GOD!"