What Stuart Did

These are the chronicles of a certain young, very large and strong boy, spending a little extra time in Kindergarten to catch up on his English.  For this story-telling purpose, he will be referred to as Stuart.  -Abi Copple

What Stuart Did

September 6

10:34- Stuart volunteers his favourite food "Humbuguh!" (Hamburger) during circle time.  His first English words in class.

September 7

9:06- Had to drag Stuart off of the off-limits playground equipment 4 times in 3 minutes.

12:20- Stuart invents two new games.  First: kicking a ball into the outside light fixtures to shatter the bulbs, then eluding the teachers with impressive speed and agility. Second, trying to dismantle the flag from the flagpole, then eluding the teachers with impressive speed and agility.    

September 10

11:58- Found Stuart hanging off the outside of the second floor stair railing after running away from computer class.  

September 12

11:16- Discovered Stuart's head under my shirt while trying to get the class lined up.

2:27- Chased a swim-goggles-wearing-Spiderman/Stuart around the school, in the rain, along with 2 other teachers, while the rest of the class waited quietly in line to go home. He eluded us with his impressive speed and agility for 5 additional minutes.

September 13

10:20- The class spent a miraculous hour and forty minutes quietly and eagerly working on Maths because Stuart had fallen asleep in the Library Centre.  We did not wake him.

September 14

9:22- Stuart is kicked out of English class for continuous burping.

1:30- While lining up outside to go back to class, a toilet is flushed on the third floor, causing a leaky pipe to shower down sewer water.  Stuart runs from his place in the class line to twirl and dance under the falling water, while all teachers, guards and cleaners bearing witness scream, "That is NOT rain Stuart! Dear God, that is NOT rain!" 

1:54- Discovered Stuart's head under my dress while I am standing on a chair to hang some art work on the wall.

September 17

1:37- During quiet journal time, Stuart becomes "X MEN!", and proceeds to run around the classroom, launching stuffed animals into the air, causing one to be caught in the ceiling fan, short circuiting it.     

1:42- Stuart tenderly kisses my belly button as I attempt to settle the class down.

1:43- Stuart motorboats my rear-end as I foolishly have turned my focus to another child too soon.  

September 18

7:54- Stuart kills and eats a spider during morning circle time.   

12:48- Stuart comes in after lunch, soaking wet from the rain.  The only spare clothes that fit him is a dress-up sailor's shirt.  Stuart puts it on, then asks for a picture to be taken.  He poses with a couple boys from class, each time cupping their crotches, right when the picture takes.